Road Trip to Solvang, CA: Authentic or Hyperreal?

In his article about Solvang, a local man recalls being stopped by a tourist when he was a little child. The tourist was inquiring about the admission fees and closing hours for Solvang. "What did he think this place was, Disneyland?" the author asks outraged, reflecting on the long-standing fear among locals that the town of Solvang, CA is becoming nothing more than a themed attraction. His concern, unfortunately, has some merit to it, as it has indeed become difficult to tell whether the small Californian town is an authentic hub for Danish traditions or a mere tourist attraction that is a copy of a place and era bygone.

Considering the latter option, the Disneyland comparison isn't even that far-fetched. Walking through Solvang is a lot like walking through Main Street, USA: you pass by full-sized buildings that are "absolutely realistic" but created to take people to a "fantastic past." They are simulations of places that once existed but no longer do, blending the concepts between reality and representation so that there are no clear distinctions between the two.

So here's some food for thought: does Solvang provide an authentic Danish experience? Is it a celebration or an exploitation of Danish culture? At the end of the day, does Danish culture become reduced to a simple kitchen magnet? On your drive home, do you feel like you have learnt something about Denmark? And just to make answering those questions easier, I'll add this interesting piece of info for you: in the past, people had suggested to give the town French theme instead, in order to accommodate for all the wineries nearby (are European cultures really that interchangeable?).

These are all big questions, but they're important questions, so make sure to keep them in mind as I narrate my second day trip undertaken this summer -- this time, to Solvang, CA (aka that Danish village that everyone thinks is Dutch -- more food for thought!).

Solvang is about three hours north of LA, so Emily and I left at around 7 am...only to find that all the ramps to the I-10 were closed. It was a Sunday morning, duh. This made our trip there significantly longer but, after a mandatory stop at Denny's, we arrived at the lavender farms outside Solvang by around 11. Except, it turns out, lavenders aren't exactly in season right now, so after taking a couple of photos, we decided to drive into town instead.

I took some really cute photos of Emily but she disagrees with me on that so here's a picture of my with my eyes closed instead. (PC: Emily)

Now, Solvang, as I said before, is very much a made environment, and it's very tourist-oriented. So much that it's mostly just stores, restaurants and wineries. There are some Danish bakeries, a year-round Christmas shop, and a bunch of other stores selling home décor, leather bags, collectible dolls, gingerbread houses and other useless shit. Fitting into the whole simulation theme, there is a store called Edelweiss, which sells miniature versions of pretty much anything under the sun, so if you're ever looking for inch-long plastic hot dogs, you've found your place. Of course, everything is overpriced, but as I like to say, if you have the funds... 💸💸

This was the only half decent photo of me so this is what you get idk. (PC: Emily)

The central part of Solvang is quite small, so after walking around for a bit, taking photos and trying to hunt down cheap water, Emily and I drove down to the beach -- which was, of course, a major mistake. It turns out that even when it's 32°C/90°F inland, the beach is cold and foggy, meaning that I basically spent $10 on parking just so I could sit shivering on a rock for about an hour, holding onto my blanket as if my life depended on it. Needless to say, we did not end up going for a swim (successful beach visits this summer: so far 0/2). 

Actual photo of me at the beach. (PC: Emily)

With that being a failure, we eventually headed back to Solvang to visit the ostrich farm we had originally intended to see. Now, my knowledge of ostriches is extremely limited (until recently, I kept confusing them with flamingos), so this is the best description I can give of them: they are weird and cool. Or maybe they are weirdly cool. Coolly weird? Anyhow, they are tall af and are very aggressive eaters, unlike their emu counterparts, who are significantly shorter and eat less aggressively. I know this because they also have emus at the farm and you can actually feed both for an extra $, which, y'know, is completely and utterly worth it. 10/10 would recommend.

(PC: Emily)

These are ostriches.

This is an emu.

After leaving the ostriches behind (and the emus, don't forget the emus!), we returned to Solvang to find that apart from a few Danish bakeries, there was basically no Danish food there. Or maybe we shouldn't go by Google suggestions, but anyhow, we ended up at an Italian restaurant, eating pizza, and driving home.

And that was that. Did I learn more about Denmark? Probably not. Is this place an exploitation or celebration of Danish culture? A bit of both, I guess. Did I get more out of it than a kitchen magnet? Well, based on this post, I certainly did.

Road Trip to Santa Barbara

There are two things I'll never say no to: waffles and road trips. Okay, we all know that's a lie. There are many things I'll never say no to. Like free airplane tickets. Or a job offer after graduation. But anyway, I digress.

Going on a road trip along the coast of California was one of the things I definitely wanted to do during my time at USC, and since I'm here all summer with more free time than I need, I decided that this was the perfect opportunity to fulfill my dreams (lol). My original idea was to drive up to San Francisco or Big Sur and stop at different locations along the way, but my best friend Emily wasn't crazy about the 5 to 7-hour drive, so we settled on the quaint little town of Santa Barbara instead.

After consulting several reputable travel guides a blog post titled "The Top Instagram Spots in Santa Barbara," we compiled a comprehensive and detailed schedule vague list of things to do in my Notes app and off we went, just like that. That is, after stopping by at Starbucks. It was 6 am, people, I needed to get my white chocolate mocha 💁 (Starbucks count: 1).

We ended up taking the scenic route along the Pacific Coast Highway, which allowed for multiple stops along the coast and plenty of occasions for us to irresponsibly run across the highway to take pictures.

Our next stop was IHOP, which, for some reason, I had previously believed was a gas station. My bad. But yeah, IHOP is the classic road trip breakfast place and since I had never been there before, I was excited. Which is exactly why I was so disappointed to find that they served me fake Nutella. I mean, seriously IHOP, did you really think that I wouldn't notice? 

That Nutella does not look right.

After that letdown, we headed directly to a hiking trail called Lizard's Mouth, named after a rock formation that is shaped like -- wait for it -- a lizard's mouth. Or at least that's what they say, since we notably did not find this aforementioned rock, and settled on seeing, y'know actual lizards. The trail also had rattle snakes and was very unfortunately situated next to a gun club, so, to be completely honest, I just wanted to gtfo asap. It was pretty, though. Also, fun story, the beginning of the trail is marked by a half-buried drainage pipe that we obviously missed and drove onto a dirt road instead that -- as it turns out -- was not open to traffic. Awkward.

(PC: Emily)

Not the lizard, but close enough?

Once that riveting adventure was over, we drove down to State St in Santa Barbara and walked around for a bit. And went to Starbucks (Starbucks count: 2). We also stopped by at Stearns Wharf and strolled the beach for a bit, but just as the Yelp reviews said, there's not much to do at either place, there are just some very expensive restaurants and people fishing. That is why we then headed to a place we knew we would love: the mall. Or, more precisely, Paseo Nuevo, an outdoor mall thing with a bunch of stores and food places.

I didn't know which photo to post so I posted all the good ones okay don't judge me bye. (PC: Emily)

After sharing a somewhat mediocre pizza and taking about 10 million photos on the famous Paseo Nuevo steps, we drove to the Chromatic Gate rainbow arch to take even more photos (surprise surprise), because why not? The arch itself was a little smaller than expected and about six more people arrived at the same time as us, with the exact same goal as us, so we stuck around there for a while, waiting for the crowd to dissolve. It took a while, but hey, it was worth it! I got a new Facebook profile picture out of it! (Note: you don't have to take every shallow thing I say at face value. You know that I'm a big fun of sarcasm.)

Success is when you manage to pull off looking effortless in a photo that took two hours to take. (PC: Emily)

 It was at this point, however, standing underneath this gorgeous rainbow-hued geometric metal rectangle, that we realized something. Since, as it turns out, as pretty as it is, there's not much to actually do in Santa Barbara. Especially when you don't really want to pay for anything and it's too cold to go to for a swim. That is why we ended up driving around for a little bit and ultimately going to Butterfly Beach, where we were supposed to watch the sunset. Except it was only 4 pm, it was way too windy to hang out there for four hours, and I desperately needed to use the restroom (tmi), which is how...we ended up at Coffee Bean, for a change (Starbucks count: 2, Coffee Bean count: 1). There, I had an iced lemon pound cake and made the decision to head back home and stop for dinner in Malibu.

I don't see any butterflies but w/e.

So off we went, once again, stopping along the way to take more photos, and eventually ending up at a fancy restaurant in Malibu that seemed a lot cheaper on Yelp. There, we had dinner, Emily mistook sun-dried tomatoes for shrimp, we kinda celebrated my birthday, and I realized that I had gotten really, really sunburned. But that's never really a surprise.

FOOD.

And that was that.